Europe's Lost Champions

Hello everyone and welcome back to Jumpers For Goalposts and another slice of retro football goodness. 

After the Heysel tragedy, English clubs were banned from playing in European competitions until 1991 and it's always seen as one of the game's biggest 'what if?' moments when fans ponder on how well Everton would have done in the European Cup during the 1985-86 season had they had the chance to compete. 

Well Toffees fans, wonder no more. Thanks to the power of ChatGPT this is how Everton's 1985-86 European Cup campaign could have played out. 

(Disclaimer: This is entirely fictional, obviously and is only meant to be a bit of fun!). 

Of course at the end of the 1984-85 season, Everton (under the tutelage of Howard Kendall) had established themselves as one of England's top teams by wrestling the First Division title away from cross-city rivals Liverpool and also gone on to show Europe how good they were by claiming the European Cup Winners Cup on that unforgettable night in Rotterdam and a fine 3-1 win over Rapid Vienna. In fact, only a stunning goal from Manchester United's Norman Whiteside at Wembley prevented Kendall's side from winning a unique 'treble'. 

As 1985-86 came round, The Toffees invested a hefty £800,000 in the previous season's top goalscorer, Gary Lineker and despite the future crisps salesman weighing in with 40 goals in 57 appearances (all competitions, Lineker scored 30 in the league to once again land the Golden Boot), Everton came up short behind Liverpool in the league before losing the 1986 FA Cup to the same opponents 3-1 at Wembley. 

This is where we enter our fictional universe though as we take a round-by-round look at how Everton's assault on the European Cup unfolded. 

First Round: Kuuyusi

As was so often the case for English clubs during the 1980s, Everton began their European Cup campaign at a remote footballing outpost. In this instance it was Finnish champions Kuuyusi. 

On a tricky pitch and in difficult conditions, the Finns could have been excused for thinking they may have something to take back to Goodison Park with them but a Graeme Sharp goal and a fine free-kick from Kevin Sheedy was enough to give Everton a priceless 2-0 win in Finland. For good measure, Everton emphatically booked their place in the second round thanks to a tremendous 5-0 home win to secure a safe passage into the last 16. 

Kevin Sheedy celebrates his goal as Everton's European Cup campaign got off to a winning start in Finland. 

Second Round: Juventus

Okay this is where it gets interesting as many people's favourites for the competition come up against the holders of the trophy, Italian giants Juventus with the likes of Michel Platini, Michael Laudrup and a plethora of star players in their ranks. 

On one of Goodison's greatest evenings, Everton make light work of the Italians with a fine 2-0 win. Graeme Sharp opened the scoring early on and Derek Mountfield later doubled the home side's advantage with a powerful header with 15 minutes remaining. 

With the wounds of Heysel still running deep for Juve, the second leg in Turin becomes an emotional and politically charged affair. Sensing crowd trouble, deputy leader of Liverpool City Council (and Everton supporter) Derek Hatton was vocal in urging Toffees supporters to not travel to Northern Italy. Thankfully, aside from one or two minor skirmishes with the carabineri, the game passes without major incident. 

On the field, the bianconeri struck first when Aldo Serena scored inside the opening minute to dramatically slice Everton's aggregate advantage in half. As the home side pressed for a second goal to level the tie overall they were thwarted by one of the all-time great goalkeeping performances from Neville Southall who produced a string of fine saves to repel waves of Juventus attack. As the home side's ambition started to wane, they were dealt a final and decisive blow with ten minutes remaining when, in a rare Everton attack, Gary Lineker tucked the ball home from close range after Stefano Tacconi had spilled Kevin Sheedy's speculative shot from the edge of the area to level the tie on the night but give Everton a now unassailable 3-1 aggregate lead. 

Having now knocked off the reigning champions, Europe was beginning to take notice of the Goodison Park outfit. 

Neville Southall turned out a performance for the ages as he kept European Cup holders Juventus at bay in Everton's second round clash. A victory that made The Toffees one of the new favourites to win the trophy. 

Third Round: FC Porto

It's all starting to become a bit real now for Everton as the final in Seville just starts to hone into view as we reach the quarter-final stage of the European Cup, their next opponents come in the shape of FC Porto. 

In arguably the most difficult assignment of the campaign so far, the trip to a hostile and unwelcoming Estadio das Antas sees Howard Kendall's side on the backfoot almost immediately with the Portuguese champions dominating possession throughout the game. It comes as little surprise to anyone when legendary forward Fernando Gomes gives the home side the lead midway through the first half. 

As Porto became wasteful in the second period, failing to convert their chances and press home their advantage, The Toffees end up securing a priceless away goal to take back to Goodison Park with them when they catch Porto on the break and some clever build-up play results in Trevor Steven slotting home the equaliser leaving it all to play for in the second leg. 

After being somewhat second best in Portugal, manager Howard Kendall urged Everton's supporters to make Goodison as hot and hostile as the Porto fans had made their home ground as the eyes of Europe were drawn on Liverpool for the eagerly anticipated second leg. As it happened, The Toffees ended up making light work of Porto as they were easily brushed aside 3-1 without Everton really breaking any sweat. Gary Lineker rifled home a close range effort after just five minutes to settle any jangling nerves before Pat van den Hauwe's header doubled the lead on the night with half an hour played. A fine Adrian Heath finish on the hour put Everton into a commanding 4-1 overall lead and not even a late consolation from Porto captain Joao Pinto could dampen the spirits. 

For the second year in a row, Everton had reached a major European semi-final and a familiar foe lay in wait for an absolute blockbuster of a tie. 

Gary Lineker celebrates opening the scoring against FC Porto during Everton's 3-1 win over FC Porto in the European Cup quarter-final second leg. 

Semi-Final: Bayern Munich

Around a year on from their classic encounter at the same stage of the European Cup Winners Cup, the stage was set for the rematch to end all rematches. Bayern wanted revenge for the previous year's defeat and they were ready, willing and able to make sure they let Everton know. 

Much like the away leg of the Porto tie, Bayern ripped into The Toffees from the get-go and as they were roared on by a partisan crowd at the Olympiastadion, Michael Rumennigge scored twice in the space of five first half minutes to leave Everton shellshocked and in genuine danger for the first time during the competition. Only a pair of instinctive reflex saves from Neville Southall late in the game prevents the game from running away from Everton before Graeme Sharp netted a stoppage time consolation on the night but more importantly, an away goal to up the ante for the second leg. 

The scene was set, for the second year running Bayern Munich were in town with a place in a European final at stake and for Everton fans this one was every bit a cracker as last season. 

Perhaps inspired by Porto and indeed Bayern in the first leg, Everton came flying out of the traps and made life difficult for the German champions from minute one. With the away goal in their back pocket and an air of palpable expectancy in the Merseyside air, it felt like 'when' Everton were going to score rather than 'if'. 

The deadlock was broken five minutes into the second half through Graeme Sharp which was Everton's just rewards for their dominance, in sharp contrast (no pun intended) to the first leg Bayern just couldn't lay a glove on The Toffees and with just five minutes left, Kevin Sheedy curled one of his trademark free-kicks into the top corner of Jean-Marie Pfaff's net to send Goodison into raptures. It became clear that toffee was very much Bayern Munich's kryptonite! 

The Final: Steaua Bucharest

And so it came to pass that for the second year in a row, a mass Evertonian exodus left Liverpool on a hunt for European glory, only this year they were off to sunny Spain. 

Sevilla's Estadio Ramon Sanchez-Pizjuan provided the backdrop as a reported 25,000 Everton supporters descended on Andalucia to see if their side could become the fifth English team to lift the famous old trophy. 

Steaua began to dominate possession and attempted to frustrate Everton in the early going but The Toffees soon settled into a rhythm, passing the ball easily and quickly as they looked to break. The first goal came in a similar manner to Trevor Steven's in the away leg of the Porto quarter-final. Having moved the ball nicely out of defence, Steven played a defence-splitting through ball for Graeme Sharp to latch on to and slot past an onrushing and despairing Helmut Duckadam. Just two minutes later, Everton and their supporters were in dreamland when Steven scored himself, arrowing the ball into the top corner of the net from just inside the Steaua penalty area. Things were looking good as Everton headed for the sheds 2-0 up at half-time. 

As the game wore on, the Romanian champions took the aerial approach as they pushed for a way back into the game. Fortunately for The Toffess and their supporters, Neville Southall was on hand to deal with any threats from the air. With time ticking into the final five minutes, the stadium just became a cacophony of scouse noise and there were rapturous, emotional scenes at full time. They'd done it, Everton were champions of Europe and Howard Kendall was able to add his name of the exclusive club of managers of English clubs to have won the European Cup joining the ranks of Sir Matt Busby, Bob Paisley, Tony Barton, Brian Clough and Joe Fagan. 

So there we have it Toffees fans, I hope you've enjoyed this fictional trip into the past and maybe wondered what it might be like to have won the European Cup in 1986. 

Thanks for reading this one ladies and gentlemen. If you agree or disagree with any of the topics we discuss or indeed have a suggestion for a future piece here on Jumpers For Goalposts then drop me a message on Twitter/X @DanBarker2802.